I have entered a new ‘Era’ for myself. (Or at least I think that’s what they are calling it these days) It’s my Equestrian Mom Era.

I have been a horse girl, pretty much my whole life.

I started riding when I was ten years old. I started taking lessons with a neighbor, which led to 4-H, which led to “Mom can I have a horse?”, which led to a pony, which then led to a horse, and so on, you get the picture. Ever since those first few lessons where I clearly got hooked, my life has been pretty dedicated to one thing: riding and all the knowledge that goes with it. All other hobbies and any other financial obligations took a back seat to my favorite thing - horses.

I think I can even actually say I’ve never had a “real job” - only horse related jobs. (They were 100% real jobs, but that’s another discussion for another day.) I went on after college to have a riding job and then a barn manager job, and then a grooming job. I was in my 20s at this time and definitely living the single-girl-horse-girl lifestyle. Traveling, riding, spending all my money trying to show… my biggest responsibility outside of my job was taking care of my cattle dog and some spider plants. Both of whom are pretty self sufficient creatures.

I had always gone back and forth throughout my life on whether I wanted to have kids or not. I knew I may always want them when I met the right person, but I didn’t meet the right person for a loooooong time. Let’s face it, I was far too self-absorbed in my horse-girl lifestyle to settle down, or to even TRY settling down. (The poor guys who I dated in my 20s) I knew I always wanted to get married and have kids eventually, but in my head eventually was still down the road, I had time. As life went on though, I began realizing ‘eventually’ had arrived. I had met the guy, we were married, it was time…

Becoming a parent is terrifying.

My husband and I had our first daughter last November (2023). In the beginning, it was HARD. My body was so fluffy and wasn’t doing what I wanted it to. My horse hadn’t been ridden and I had this new tiny baby creature who couldn’t go outside if it was too cold. (I live in Montana, so we have winter, and it was always too cold!) Navigating barn time those first couple months was not easy. I did it, not without struggle but we did it. I went to the barn almost everyday. I also had the most wonderful group of gals whose horses lived with my horse, so on the days I couldn’t go they gave me updates on how he was doing. Now I didn’t ride, not right away… I couldn’t for one but then also my horse had a significant amount of time off before and while I was pregnant, so it didn’t feel super safe to either. But slowly, with the help of so many great friends, we finally got our groove back.

Safe to Say - My Life Is Very Different Now

If I’ve learned anything while being a first time equestrian mom, it’s that you can and will feel 2, maybe even more emotions at once. Better yet they will likely be conflicting. You will be worried about your horse if you haven’t seen him as often as you used to - but you will also not want to leave your baby. You may be mad at your body for not moving the way it used to - but you’ll also be so grateful that it gave you the greatest miracle of all. Feeling all these emotions is totally normal, and definitely ok. I can tell you that the hardest thing I do every week is leave on Friday afternoons to go ride my horse after my husband gets home from work. I’m not sure why it’s hardest this day, I also go to the barn on Saturday and Sunday without my daughter, but Fridays really hit me. I’m not sure if its because I’m with her all day and I just can’t believe I’m leaving her or what, but I have never felt two emotions so strongly - I want to go to the barn and ride my horse AND I don’t ever want to leave this baby, I want to be with her forever. It’s quite crazy and frustrating how strong they are.

Another ‘double emotion’ let’s call it that comes with now being a mom, is that I want to ride my horse, but it’s also kind of dangerous. I now have someone whose life would be totally different, if I wasn’t around. I know that’s grim and morose to think about, but it’s something I can’t un-think now. Being an equestrian and a mom is so difficult in the mom-guilt department. Your passion and life-long hobby can honestly be a little dangerous. Is it selfish to keep pursuing it after you have a child? This is one I struggle with daily.

Not Just A Horse Mom Anymore

Some days are long, and I think I may prefer mucking an aisle full of stalls over putting a cranky baby down for a nap, but they are so, so fulfilling. Seeing my baby girl smile for the first time, hearing her laugh, those things are so irreplaceably special. Watching her meet my horse for the first time, and instead of shying away from him, an animal so large to her, she stared right at him… smiled… and reached for his nose. Those moments make it so worthwhile.

Though being an Equestrian and a Mom are not for the faint of heart, I would definitely say without a doubt that it is the BEST job in the world. May us horse moms raise kids that see us for exactly who we are: tough, full of grit, and willing to put in the hard work.

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Bex